The Way You Wear Your Hat, The Way You Sip Your Tea

Today is Valentine’s Day.


I feel like this is one holiday that people either really love or really hate: you are either beyond excited it’s Valentine’s Day, or you loathe its very arrival. Maybe that’s an exaggeration. But you know what I mean.

There are people who say they don’t care… but I have a feeling that in the deep recesses of their mind… even they care just a little bit.

Today, I think I want to talk to those people who HATE Valentine’s Day. I think. I’m not sure where this post is going to end up, but I know it will be worth reading.

Probably. :)

I used to identify with those Valentine’s Day haters… I felt like it was fake and commercialized and an excuse for those in love to rub that love in the face of those without love (what?).

But now… I have come to appreciate Valentine’s Day. Even love it. I love love, and Valentine’s Day, and all the mushy goodness that comes with it.

And let me clarify: I am most certainly single. I am not in love. I will not get flowers today, or chocolates, or go on a romantic candlelit dinner with my honey. No one is in love with me. And unless I am much mistaken, no one will profess their undying love to me with a courage that only comes with realizing today, this day made for love, may be the only day to do something so daring.

I won’t be getting any Valentine’s like this today:

I could be wallowing in self-pity over being single. I could be sad and think about all the things I could have today but won’t get because I am single. All of us single people could do that. So let’s have a wallowing party and be miserable and cry and throw chocolates at romance movies! That sounds like the best way to make ourselves unhappy I can think of!

Wait. No. Let’s NOT do that.

I think there are too many people who choose to make Valentine’s Day WAY more miserable than it needs to be. In fact, I think there are about a million reasons we should all LOVE Valentine’s Day. Allow me to share three of those with you now!

1. Memories

I have memories of people who have loved me. People who have bought me flowers, and taken care of me, and shared with me, and with whom I have had hours of fun and laughter. Boyfriends, guy friends, weird flirtatious acquaintances. And yes, I could be sad that at this very moment, right now, today… I probably won’t have a Valentine who does those things with me. BUT INSTEAD, I am cherishing those memories and realizing that someday I will make more memories like that.

2. Gratitude

Gratitude is good in all circumstances, and it definitely applies to Valentine’s Day. We should be grateful to be alive. Grateful we live in a country where we get to choose who to love (or who not to love). Grateful we have air in our lungs and a few blank sheets of paper… wait… I’ll get to Leo in a minute.

We should be grateful we know others who have love so we know it’s possible. We can be grateful we’ve experienced love and know what to look for again (or what not to look for). We can be grateful for the experiences we’ve had that teach us true love really is possible. Again… I’ll get to that in a second.

Gratitude, friends, is key to loving/enjoying/surviving (if you feel it’s that drastic) Valentine’s Day.

2. Hope

Hope is the most significant reason I love Valentine’s Day. And I think it’s the most important reason.

Sometimes, you see people who are so in love that it makes your heart hurt just looking at them. It makes you yearn for that kind of love and wonder if it’s possible. It makes you realize that you want to strive every single day to find, work your hardest for, and maintain the kind of love they have.

A few movie examples? Okay!

The Princess Bride. Good ol’ Wesley. How darling of him to come back from being pretend-dead, brave the Fire Swamp, and come back from being mostly-dead to be with Buttercup. Tender!

Titanic. You know me. I’m a sucker for this movie. I think I might watch it while I do my homework tonight… in any case, I chose THIS picture because they’re dancing (which is the way to my heart) and they are just so in LOVE in this movie. See this post for how much I love Titanic.

 The Notebook. More dancing. Love. ‘Nuff said I think.

I could think of about a million more movies that show how in love people can really be….. but I know what you’re thinking! These are all fake. Phony, contrived stories of things that can never exist. I have something for that, too! Let me share with you the people who make me believe whole-heartedly in Valentine’s Day. In its importance, in its possibility, in 100% real, honest-to-goodness-crazy-about-each-other love.

If you’ve ever been around these two, you know without a doubt in your heart that true love exists. That love is worth working towards, fighting for, protecting fiercely, and enjoying with all of you heart and soul. This is the kind of love that we all dream about.

They serve one another. They dream and consult and hope and dream some more with each other. They ask each other out on dates. They protect their family and their love from harmful forces that wish to destroy it. They take care of each other. They never call each other mean or hurtful names. They have been married for more than 20 years… and they are giddy in love with one another. Melody is crazy about Mr. Ross, and Mr. Ross is head over heels for Melody. Seriously guys…. it doesn’t get much better than this.


Not all of us have a Mr. Ross. Not all of us have a Melody. Not yet, anyway. But I really hope you love YOURSELF enough to not wallow in today if you are single. I hope you love YOURSELF enough to know that you are worth loving, that you are never alone, and that you can choose to make today great if you want. I hope you love YOURSELF enough to believe in the kind and encouraging words others say to you… and if people don’t say them, believe the ones I am saying now.


Or that Christopher Robinn said:

You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.

I love you. I really, really do. And you deserve to have a very, very happy Valentine’s Day.


[And yes, I changed the name of the blog post. “Cupid’s Chokehold” was too negative! Ha ha…]


  1. Chris Steller · February 14, 2012

    Love her perspective on this holiday!

  2. Lisa Palmer · February 15, 2012

    Thank you for this wise and moving post…………boy, if I’d only known all this when I was your age!!!!! You ARE love and you have an amazing tomorrow ahead of you <3

  3. Amanda a · February 19, 2012

    Valentine’s Day will forever be the day I learned of my dad’s death.

  4. Pingback: Guest Blog Post From Melody Ross- “What Love Is…” « Christa Sterken
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